SEPTEMBER CHB GRADE REPORT

After I got home my wife gave the hair cut a C+ to B-. She still wants to do it herself. Yesterday she said so. I asked if she still had her clippers? She replied “ Yes I know exactly where they are.” I did not say anything but I know where a part for the clippers is. It had been in this spot for six months and as with anything, parts are important. This part is the comb thing that clips on the head. I am nervous that she has never said she was looking for it. I am also nervous about letting her cut my hair with an unshielded clippers. The potential for disaster would be quite high. Also, she refers to the clippers as "they", this also is a concern..

JULY CHB HAIRCUT GRADE REPORT                 (Crack Head Barber)

It was requested I report my Wife’s grade of the July CHB Haircut.  When she got home she placed her hands on my shoulders and looked intently at my head. She had me turn side to side and then around so she could examine the back. She said “Next time; I am going to cut your hair. I just have to find the clippers” This statement concerned me because of the following:        1. Where the “Clippers” came from, I don’t know. She has used it on humans, but only my            son’s football playing friends who wanted to shave their heads.        2.  Since the “Clippers” are lost I can assume a lack of use and therefore a lack of skill.        3. The last time she used them was on our bed room cat. The cat has long hair that was matted            and it needed to be cut. When the cat was done it looked outright weird.        4. If she cuts my hair then I will miss out on the reporting of the CHB. I find it interesting that            I can watch the possible decline of a CHB. The downward spiral into the “Abyss of Crackdom”            is something we all can learn from. Her overall grade was a “C”. I think she was a little biased and this deflated the grade. For some reason the half smoked Newport in the cash drawer concerned her. She did point out the slight making of a “Bowl Cut Ridge” but it can only be seen in very intense type lighting. (We have lots of bulbs in the bathroom plus a heat lamp). I complained and she said a marginal "C+". My thought is to continue to go to the CHB until my grade decline to a "D or D+".  After that, I don’t know. If I let my wife cut my hair, I want some proof of competency. She said “I’ve been working in beauty salons for years and am around haircutting all the time.” I replied. “You do nails”.         Question: Are those hair cutters you hook up to the vacuum cleaner any good?  On TV they                       seem to do a good job.We have a big Dirt Devil.

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