Ford out does itself. I drive a lot for work and my company gives us company cars. It’s a pretty good deal and I am not bitching about it. What I am writing about is some of the idiocy I see in the Ford Motor Company documentation. Remember these are the people that gave us the Edsel, Pinto and the ever-popular PROBE.

   When I picked up my new van, the sales man started telling me all the features. He proudly showed me the Anti-Theft features. He then asked if I wanted a more elaborate alarm system installed? I replied that being a Ford Mini Van is all the protection I needed, but if I hear of an increase in Car-Jacking Soccer Mom Gang activity I would surely give him a call. The salesman seemed to cool a bit towards me.

   He went through all the stuff and then showed me the Smokers Package. It’s a cigarette lighter and a plastic ashtray with a lid on it. The cost was $32.00. I lit up a Marlboro and told him I didn’t smoke and wanted the 32 bucks back. He did not respond. I broke the lid in less than 1 day. Can I get 15 bucks back?

   I have had the van for about 3 weeks and today I thought it might be good to un-wrap the Owners Guide. Here are some things I thought were interesting.

Belt Minder- This dings a bell if you do not have the belt on. Here is a section on the system.

The Belt Minder system uses information from the Passenger Occupant Classification Sensor (POCS) to determine if a front seat passenger is present and therefore potentially in need of a warning. To avoid activating the Belt Minder feature for objects placed in the front passenger seat, warning will only be given to large front seat occupants as determined by the Passenger Occupant Classification Sensor (POCS).

Ok, besides being more long winded than me, hear is what Ford is really saying.

                   "If some one is sitting in the front seat, we ring a bell if the belt is un-buckled."

Also notice that the feature is only activated if the car determines you are a
large front seat occupant. This is great, now Ford is telling you,  YOU ARE A LARD ASS.

                                
How to disable the BELT MINDER SYSTEM

The driver and front passenger Belt Minder System can be deactivated by performing the following procedure.

        - Set the Parking Brake
        - Place the gear shift in park.
        - The ignition switch is off.
        - The driver and front seat passenger safety belts are un-buckled.

WARNING:  To reduce the risk of injury do not attempt to deactivate the Belt Minder System
                     while driving the vehicle.

1. Turn the ignition switch to on. DO NOT START THE ENGINE.

2. Wait until the safety belt warning light turns off. (Approximately one minute).

    * Step 3 must be performed withing 50 seconds after the safety belt warning light goes off.

3. For the seating position being disabled. Buckle and then unbuckle the safety belt 9 times. ending
in the unbuckled state. (Step 3 must be completed within 50 seconds after the safety belt warning light turns off.)

  * After step 3 the restraint system Air Bag Warning Light (Air Bag Light) will turned on for
     3 seconds.

4. Within 4 seconds of the light turning on, buckle and unbuckle the safety belt.

* This will disable the Belt Minder Feature for that seating position if it is currently enabled.
    As a conformation , the restraint system warning light will flash 4 times per second for
    three seconds.

* This will enable the Belt Minder feature for that seating position if it is currently disabled. As
   a conformation , the restraint system warning light will flash 4 times per second for three
   seconds, followed by  3 seconds with the warning light off, then followed by the restraint system
  warning light will flash 4 times per second for three seconds again.


Note: Normally when I drive I will notice if someone is sitting next to me. If so, I will tell them to put
         on the belt. If it’s a kid I will make them, if it’s an adult then it’s up to them. I do not need FORD
         to tell me what to do. Also this disable procedure is a bunch a crap, how about an ON/OFF SWITCH. .

        How about the "Warning" not to do this while driving. I say if a person is so stupid as to try this
        while cruising down the freeway, so be it. The Darwin Award people live for this. I bet turning
        the car off and putting it in park while doing 70, would be quite the interesting experience..

        Over the next few year, as I continue reading the Owners Guide, I will post more safety tips.
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