I have recently been out of town working at a paper mill in northern Wisconsin. After three 16 hour days I returned home for a short break and looked forward to a good nights sleep in my own bed. Here is what happened.
10:30 pm - Fell asleep
11:50 pm - Our small miniature Pincher puppy started to burrow under the covers and proceeded to dig a hole in my backside. This woke me and I pulled the dog out from under the covers. She then started to bound about the bed. I got up and put her outside to pee and then spent the next 20 minutes trying to get her back in. She spent the time trying to catch moths that were flittering about.
01:30 am - Woke with constricted breathing. Was this the start of a heart attack? I opened my eyes and saw our cat’s face. The feline was sitting on my chest waiting for me to wake up. She wanted food. This cat is named Elizabeth but we also call her Scaredy Cat. She lives in our bedroom and has only been out of it 78 minutes in the last 6 years. My wife rescued her from a shelter and she stays in our bedroom. Thinking about this, I realize that her life is pretty sweet. She gets fed on demand and never really has to deal with anything of note except when Gloria, our other cat, comes in to the bedroom to harass her. Gloria is a six-toed killer cat whose mission is to kill everything in the world. One time I was putting clothes in my hamper and found half a bunny rabbit on my closet floor. I remember looking at it and for a few seconds my brain did not quite understand what it was..
02:43 am - Tuesday, our 13 year old Black Lab, was barking to get into our room. She is old and I figured she wanted to lie on the soft carpet. She came in and lay next to our bed, on my side. She proceeded to cough and hack up some serious phlem wads. I kept the light off and did not look. One time, a few years ago, I did look and saw a huge "Smoking Log O’ Vomit” on the floor. That was very gross and I did not want a repeat. It took 20 paper towels and 2 hands to pick it up. She settled down and proceeded to have a gas attack. It is unlike anything you can imagine. Tuesday has bowels from hell. After expelling her volumes, she fell asleep. I soon was too.
04:17 am - I dreamed I was at the paper mill and was working on a stainless steel control board. John Goodman was there and he was showing me how screwed up the board was. In my dream I said, "Hey, your John Goodman. Why are you here?" He did not answer but continued pulling knobs and switches off the control board. I then spilled my coffee on the stainless steel top and woke up. It felt strange to have John Goodman in my dreams as well as dreaming about work.
08:30 am - My wife and I woke up. I told her about my dream and she asked why having John Goodman in my dream would bother me? I said he is a fine actor but he needs to stay out of my head.