QUESTIONS FROM OILISGOOD “CHARTER LIFE TIME MEMBERS” (as long as they pay the cash)
Q: How come your face is so big?
-Stewey
A: Stewey: My face is big from Vietnam. I was born, went to school, went to Vietnam and now I am running for President. When I got my Purple Heart I got a face infection; it is a war wound.
Q: When can I see my dada?
- Puday Hussein
A: As soon as Michael Moore and the French government tells me the world is safe.
Q: What was with the “F” word about the balloons at your convention?
- Thorton
A: It was Dick Cheney, he stole the microphone and said the bad word?
Q: Why did you have a 12-year-old girl speak at a national convention?
- Buffy
A: I can learn a lot from children. She looked like Little Orphan Annie.
Q: What’s with Teresa, she looks high and needs to get her hair done?
- Martha
A: She had a little too much Botox and some leaked into her brain. She does not get “High” on drugs; she is high on America and the Kerry - Edwards ticket. Maybe a little weed but that’s all.
Q: How come you did not throw your own medals over the White House Fence when you were a protestor?
-Buck
A: I threw symbolic Medals and when I am your President I will throw more.
Q: Where are you going to get 40,000 more troops for the military, especially since you called the war a mistake?
-Charles
A: I will draft the children of the rich people, anyone making more than 40,000/year.
Q: It is said you flip-flop, it this true?
Jimbo
A: No I do not flip-flop. I look at both side of the issues and make decisions on either side and then propose the various solutions and sometime vote yes or no. It can be complicated yet simple, easy and hard, obvious but subtle, and as your President, I will always come down on the popular side of any issue.
Q: What will you do if you loose the election?
- Franklin
A: I will not loose unless Bush steals the election. But if I do Teresa said I could have the Mexican Ketchup Factory.
Q: You want to raise payroll taxes but not capital gains. Why is this? Could it be that you and your wife get almost 30 million dollars a year from investments and your Senate paycheck of 158K is all you would see tax increase on.
- Albert
A: Well the rich payroll people are not paying their fair share. Capital gains taxes are not for the rich alone; many poor people rely on dividend income. I will not raise taxes on the poor. The money Teresa and I get is used for the good of the people. We are actually very poor and have no money. I again state it is the rich payroll people I want to go after. They work for big bad corporations and take money from minorities every two weeks. We need to stop this and bring these corporations to their knees. Look at some of these companies, like, Hunts Ketchup and Campbell's. They also use Texas tomatoes.
Q: How come you neglect to say anything about you 20-year Senate record?
-Franklin
A: I voted yes and no on many issues that I felt needed to be voted on. I saved the Tuna fishing rights in Main by writing a Tuna bill to stop the Tuna fishermen in Guam from sending Tuna to Boston. I also voted for the war in Iraq but then not to pay for it. This is my way of showing the American people I support the troops and want them home. Also I voted to call up reserve units but then called it a backdoor draft. These reserve troops did not signup to go to war. They wanted paychecks, education, veteran’s health care and retirement. How can George Bush say to these men and women that they need to fight in a war? I cannot condone this type of action where a President tells young men and women in our military that they need to actually fight. We want to stop this use of the military for the purpose of fighting wars.
Q: Not a question, but I don’t think there are any Tuna off the coast of Main.
- Franklin
A: See! Those Guam people caught them all. "VOTE FOR KERRY AND SAVE A TUNA"