Recycling, recycling, don’t you feel good when you do it? Thinking about the trees you save and the future you are making for your beloved children. We need to save our resources for the children. If we all pull together the world can be such a beautiful place. Fields of daises and long prairie grasses swaying in the wind. I feel, I feel like making a douche commercial.  When I recycle I get a warm feeling all over my crotch, this is because the damn beer cans are leaking all over me. Recycling is a load of hippie-yuppie feel good “Look what I do to help the children while I use up 75% of the Earths known resources” crap. If left to their own devices, children eat dirt and paste.

     Actually I have never recycled and go out of my way not to.  I feel as an American, it is my duty to consume and waste as much stuff as I can. I have been asked. “If we use all the oil and resources what will happen to your children?” My answer is this, “My children need a challenge, and I am not going to coddle them and let them get a free ride. The youth of today have it too easy, if we run out of stuff on Earth, there is always space.”
    
     If I were to recycle the only thing worth recycling is aluminum. The energy needed to recycle aluminum is less than it is to make it from ore. Every thing else is bullshit. How can I support this statement? Look in the yellow pages and see how many private recycling businesses there are. If it were so damn good then we would have millions of private recycling businesses making tons of money. Almost every recycling center in this country is run by or subsidized by the government. Almost all of them operate in the red. We need to exclude junkyards because they are cool and fun to stomp around in. I do not consider automotive junkyards recycling centers. Bottom line is that it cost more to recycle than to make things from scratch.

     In Wisconsin we have a bunch of deer loving tree huggers who whine about saving the trees and want paper recycled. Trees are overrated and drop shit all over my yard. The fact is that in 2004 there are more trees in Wisconsin than ever before. The tree huggers say, “The paper mills are cutting all the forests, what about the mighty oaks?” Hey you nimrods, the paper mills hardly use any hardwood; the oak is all over your yuppie houses. The paper mills plant more trees than they cut because...
THEY ARE IN BUSINESS TO MAKE MONEY AND SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW IF THEY CUT DOWN ALL THE TREES THEY CANNOT MAKE PAPER! (duh)
    
      Recycling is nothing more than a lame misguided idea, thought up by a soft talking former National Public Radio reporter turned into a sinister underrated psycho Green Peace type activist that is not happy unless whining about something. 

     In my state they tell the misinformed public that it’s a law to recycle. People are scared not to. I found out that it is a law only as far as the towns are concerned but says nothing about me. I pay a shit load of taxes to these morons and as far as I am concerned if they want to root through my garbage and recycle then have at it. For now, I throw every thing away that I can, burn whatever I what and spray aerosol cans every night. I want global warming because it’s too damn cold up here. I could give a rip about the suns gamma rays frying some 90-year-old Florida asshole that is too stupid to read a ballot and never uses a blinker.
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