advice

From a cave in Afghanistan, a holding facility in Baghdad and a besieged compound in Gaza, the boys are ready to answer your questions. They have years of experience in conflict resolution, anger management and decorating. Imagine how they need to use all their creativity in keeping their cave or hovel, cheery and livable, especially after those pesky B52 strikes or Israeli helicopter gun ship runs. So submit your questions and let the experts help you.

Q:My college professor is low-balling me on a grade in one of my classes. I've begged and pleaded with this bitch about how I deserve better marks, to no certain avail. She insists that if I "did the homework, and came to class" that my grade would be reflected upon accordingly. I told her to get bent.... I already PAID for the class, just GIVE ME THE GO'DAMN GRADE. Am I right?!! Right?!? What do I do???
Buffy

A: Osama     - I just had a thought, just had, jus had, jhad, JIHAD!!!!
     Yassar    - Go to her class with a vest of explosives and blow her infidel ass up.
     Saddam - What is this Buffy? What does if mean. The American females have me naked and
                      they smoke!

Q: Sadaam- What do you think of the capture of your "red-headed step-child" Puday? Do you have any comments? With you being so powerful (at the time) and suave, why and how did he turn out to be so hideous and retarded?
Tammy

A: Osama     - We try not to mention Puday, I use the Jihad to cheer Saddam up.
     Yassar    -   Between you and me, Puday should have had a vest of C4 strapped on his "tard" ass
                       a long time ago.
     Saddam -   My dear Tammy, I am powerful and naked.

Q: Why are Junior Mints so damn good?
Biff

A: Osama     -   Biff, Biff, Biff. Where do you live? I WILL JIHAD THIS BIFF!
     Yassar     -   The Israelis don’t let me have Junior Mints.
      Saddam -   They are the Mother of All Small Chocolate Mints.

Q: My little bro Stewy is ruining my life, Dude's. He keeps getting into my dope stash n shit. I keep telling him to back the fudge off, but he's all like, threatening to tell my parents about my shit. How do I get Stewy to piss off without my parents finding out? He's also been dippin' into my stash of Scheister(!) porn. HELP!!
Ted

A: Osama   -   Stewy needs to be the subject of a holy war. I think I will call it.. THE STEWY JIHAD!
     Yassar   - Give Stewy a vest of hi-explosive and a push button and have him blow himself up.
     Saddam - You need to form a death squad and kill him in front of your parents. This will make them
                     loyal.Can I borrow your porn?