Q: My Toy French Poodle, Foo-Foo, keeps chewing the furniture. What can I do to stop her?     From: Rachael A: Osama    -  Gee that's hard, gee hard. jee hard, je hard, ji had, jihad, jihad, JIHAD!     Yassar    -  I would say you need to strap a small doggie vest of high explosives on her and send her into                      a mall to blow herself up.     Saddam -   You need to form a death squad and kill many dogs in front of her. This will make her loyal. Q: My son, Leslie Francis, is constantly being bullied. How can I help him resolve these conflicts?     From: Charles A: Osama    -  JIHAD!  JIHAD!  JIHAD!     Yassar    -  I would say you need to strap a vest of high explosives on him and send him into                      a school to blow himself up.     Saddam -  You need to form a death squad and kill many bullies as possible. This will make the rest loyal. Q: When we go to my mother in laws for dinner, they do not use the good china or guest towels.      Is this proper?     From: Allen & Allie A: Osama    - No, you need to hijack a plane and crash it into their house. This action will be considered                     a JIHAD!      Yassar    -  I would say you need to strap a vest of high explosives on yourself and go to your in laws                      house  and blow yourself up.     Saddam -  You need to form a death squad and kill your in laws.  This will make the rest loyal. Q: I hate my government and what to over throw them. How do I form terror cells?      From:  Spike A: Osama    -  I am appalled at your suggestion and refuse to answer.      Yassar    -  You are some kind of sick-o.     Saddam -    Sir, you need to seek professional help.

Q: Hi Mullets, I'm baaaaaack. Like, who is Jihad? LOL! Why is he so mad?? Does he need a nap?! LOL, my butt (which is SO not a lug!) could cheer him up. I'm hot! LOL! Like, why are there so many buttons on this thing? Why's my screen, like, smoking? Smoking's gross! Ewww!! It's like, on fire, lol,... my hands!!!.. OWW.... my arms $*@(!)##$%( J*e#s&S^I$C@A  A: Osama   -  It took awhile to figure out who you are. Hi, Jessica! I would start a Jihad against you                     but even I, cannot kill someone so stupid as you.      Yassar   -  Loved your variety special. Do you have a vest?      Saddam -  Please send me a picture. I am lonely here in Baghdad.

Q:  How do you get lipstick out of 600 thread count set of sheets?      Martha

A: Osama    -  You take 600 followers of Allah and start a Jihad against the lipstick  makers who defile                      the Holy Land..      Yassar    -  You strap a vest of high explosives on an underling and send him into a fabric store                       and BLOW IT UP.      Saddam  -  You form a death squad and kill the lipstick wearers. This will make the rest loyal. By                       the way. How have you done your cell? I did mine in Periwinkle and Fuchsia.

Q: Are Yassar Arraft and Ringo Starr related? I have never seen a photo of them together. Terrencio

A: Osama     -  Where do you live? I want to fly a plane into your house. JIHAD against Terrencio!     Yassar     -  We are brothers. He makes vests for me.      Saddam  -   I'd say you need to have a death squad visit your house.

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