***PUDAY GONE AGAIN ****

AP: CIA Langley VA.    New reports say that Puday Hussein is on the loose again. Last month Puday escaped from his Baghdad prison when lax guards inadvertently left the door unlocked. Puday wandered into the Baghdad International Airport and then onto the Secretary of States plane. Well he’s done it again.    After the Secretaries plane landed in Washington, the CIA took custody of Puday. They debriefed him at an undisclosed site and then departed. The only problem was that no one thought to place a guard on the dictator’s third son. The CIA released a statement that they take full responsibility and point out that Puday’s disarming personality led the agents to underestimate his flight risk.    Reports that Puday survived on a diet of potatoes and a case of cheese whiz, left by a former tennent for what ever reason, are unconfirmed. This reporter did speak to a deputy sheriff who said they found a hard gerbil in a cage and that the gerbil seemed full of a process type cheese product.    A picture taken at the Republican Nation Convention shows a man that appears to be Puday with Tommy Thompson, former governor of Wisconsin, and now the Secretary of Health and Human Services. Why he is with Thompson is unclear but the cheese factor may be significant.

BREAKING NEWS -  PUDAY ESCAPES                                     U.S. FORCES ON HIGH ALERT

AP: New reports from Baghdad tell of a daring daytime escape of Puday Hussein. Coalition forces have been placed on high alert. According to high placed CIA sources we are told that Puday is not mentally challenged as early reports stated but he is actually a very clever and high ranking member of Saddam's Bath Party. The security around Saddam has been tightened because of rumors that Puday may try a break out of his infamous Dad. The CIA also wants the Terror Color raised to"Magenta". The White House issued a statement saying that all is well and that Puday will soon be back in custody. It appears he is on Collin Powell’s jet and is currently somewhere over the Atlantic. The Bush spokesman said that they do not have the full story as to how Puday got on the jet but that Powell, being an Army-Man, should be able to handle it. The Kerry camp has issues a statement saying that this the kind of thing that shows Kerry should be President. Kerry has also offered to Command a Swift Boat and to “Go get this PUDAY character”. The Kerry PR team is trying to round up old shipmates from Vietnam but so far most of them just laughed and hung up. The Department of the Navy said "Senator or not, he is not getting one of our boats." Kerry was last seen wearing an old helmet and rummaging through a closet looking for his medals and flack jacket. Edwards was asked to ride along but he seemed to get real quite and pale. He then gave a thumbs up sign and left the room.

Powell and the Saudi Crown Prince shown here at the Baghdad meeting. Puday is clearly seen but each leader thought he was part of the others entourage. It appears that Puday simply walked onto the State Departments plane and flew off with the Secretary of State.

AP:  CNN reports that the man who first captured Puday was interviewed about the daring escape. Retired Marine Sergeant Buck Turgenson was tracked down to his cottage on a Bass lake in upper Wisconsin. “Puday was no harm to anyone. They took the Marines off the prison guard duty and put in some pansy ass dick-heads from some California reserve unit in their place. They were afraid the Marines were too tough on the prisoners. The dick-wads just left the door unlocked and Puday wandered off. He is fascinated with things like doorknobs.  My god, what a cluster F**K.” The Sergeant also said as long as they have some ice cream and candy on the plane then Puday will be ok. “He gets scared easy and I hope the morons on the plane don’t hurt him.” The Seargent lit a cigar, shook his head and then just walked away.

Original Story of Puday

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